I have to admit that initially I did not want to listen to Tori Amos. A friend that I had been keeping at arm’s length, and who probably didn’t realize that I considered that to be close, told me I had to listen to “this.”. I thought something along the lines of “Oh great. He’s going to ruin this by trying to give me some mix tape and wanting something more.”. (I was in a bad and scarred place at the time.) He kept at it.
“You have to listen to this tape, it’s Tori Amos.”
I thought “Oh great, someone I’ve never heard of.” I tried to talk my way around it. He wasn’t having it.
“You are going listen to this. Period. No trying to get out of it.”
So I threw his very pristine looking copy of “Little Earthquakes” (which was new at the time) into the passenger side seat in my car. I left later that day and began my 30 minute commute home. I had no real intention of listening to his tape; but my car antenna was broken and it was a long drive for silence. So mostly I put it in to give it a quick try so that I could say I’d tried. After I heard “Crucify” and “Girl” I was intrigued. Then “Silent All These Years” began to play. It was as if something dark and painful that I had held tightly in my gut had started to uncurl; I had to pull over. By the time she was halfway through the song I was sobbing uncontrollably on the side of the road. It was as if someone had looked completely through me and said it was going to be okay, and as long as it was just she and I, then I could let go. From that moment on I was a devoted fan.
The friend and I parted ways. (It turned out much later that he did in fact have less than noble intentions.) But for good or ill, he did give me something I’ll always be grateful for. He gave me Tori Amos.