luckychat’s Profile

My Reviews & Blog

BLOG

work

no work today
got ill
yesterday collegue
listening again
confused.it was too much
didnt feel comfortable
"get better, like we are" he said to
me when i left. "pardon?"
"think about it"
i felt like in hell again.like i was the
devil in person.
thats the reason for my hopelessness.

im exhausted and scared still. i was that all bymyself.
jumping through centuries, meeting strangers.the last year was 3720 and they were most kind, the time before i was just in wars, wars , wars, got killed and shot a lot.people were awful.somebody puts a pistol into my mouth and shoot.fear of dying.whats happening now.black.felt a strong hand and heard a voice who said:"dont go away, stay with me".then i came to 3720.

ohoh
opening the door
suddenly the car rolls back
my thoughts had been wandering
around in the car
forgot to pull on the
handbrake
crash door jamb
s***tys***

BLOG

she is ill

my mum and granny talk with eachother again.
she just told me the doctor said she has had already several strokes.
my mum talks and talks medical stuff, the nurse comes out, i have no words, just tears. granny says its not that tragical, but for me it is somehow.

BLOG

wondering

how to handle with all these
thoughts coming from the innerst
i dont want to know actually
if they dont want to tell me honestly
and i dont want to know what
person a thinks of person b
still i know sometimes

i dont understand anything

dancing gets strange

cos of that

im not alone

embarassing still

but i need a certain soul" a woman was singing during i had some outofbody-experience this night again.flying or hovering in darkness and then suddenly doubts appearing "is vienna in person dangerous" and tumbling and circeling down like a spiral. Screaming. Embarassing, cos i was in the flat of a friend of mine and i hoped, that her friend, who had the room next to me, couldnt hear me. but i dont think so.

Vienna was great. I met my friends, i've missed so much and it was really really nice and funny.and the city wasnt that threatening to me anymore.

BLOG

granny

in the night
I thought of granny
and about
her health

listening
"it will be rather soon
i can feel the day"

i fear
she could go
before i can show
her my love

my dreams were wonderful. i was concious that I was dreaming nearly the whole night so I decided to fly through a very colourful city.it was so great, it was really my soul dreaming, cos i was absolutely concious its a dream and whenever i doubtet i lost that kind of certainity and slipped into the script of the unconciousness or woke up.i also could my body feel how exhausting the flying movements were.

"what do you do with such people? Do you know anything? Can such people drive a car?"
she askd my parents
such people. like me.

so i had to take a taxi.she was standing at the window.
iam crying.the words from yesterday settled

BLOG

i try

"i'll die anyway in a few months" she added."and nobody cares about me anyway"

iam despaired.i really try to stay out of it. but how, if somebody talks that way to you? Shes not anybody, shes a person who was really important for my life.

i pray that my dearest livingfriend doesnt have enough of me already.

Pages: 12>